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Channel: Mature Life Features
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If You’re Attacked . . .

. . . by a swarm of flies, do you call the SWAT team?

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Common Sense . . .

. . . isn’t really a gift because, if you have it, you have to put up with everyone else who doesn’t have it.

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A Sure Way . . .

. . . to avoid gray hair is to shave your head.

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Just About . . .

. . . when I was getting to know everything, I forgot a whole bunch of stuff.

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This . . .

. . . killing them with kindness is taking a lot longer than I thought.

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A Gent Here . . .

. . . is putting together a group of poker players. A lady he approached said she hasn’t played since she was a kid, when they used to vie for potato chips.

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You Know . . .

. . . you’re really old when you start bragging about your age.

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I Had To . . .

. . . quit reaching for the stars. My back gave out.

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The Sheep . . .

. . . haven’t learned. They won’t get eaten by the wolves. They’re food for the shepherd.

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When . . .

. . . are you old enough to know better?

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DIAPER

spelled backwards is REPAID think about that for a bit

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If You . . .

. . . don’t want to make any mistakes, don’t do anything.

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Happy . . .

. . . and healthful Easter everybody

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Deja Poo . . .

. . . overcomes me when I keep seeing and hearing the same crap over and over again.

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I Don’t Listen . . .

. . . to people who tell me not to worry because everything I worry about never happens.

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If . . .

. . . you can count your money, you don’t have enough.

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I Never . . .

. . . have any regrets in the morning, I simply sleep till noon.

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The Older . . .

. . . you get, the more dangerous sneezing becomes.

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Our . . .

. . . biggest trouble is we think we have time.

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You Can’t Be . . .

doing things right if you’re still doing things on the left.

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